That’s me, last weekend. Stephen and I finally, after nearly four years, had a night away together. And what do I take away from it? How fat I’ve become. See, I’ve been avoiding the camera recently since I’m well aware things have gotten out of control. I’m full of justifications, but mostly they come down to:

• I’m writing a cookbook! I have to be around food all day.
• I’m writing a cookbook! And when I’m not writing or cooking, I’m with Harry. I have no time to exercise.

Lame.

The cookbook is for new parents, and it’s full of healthy recipes. It specifically addresses the fact that so many new parents (mothers & fathers both) want to lose some weight. So the problem isn’t with what I’m cooking. The problem is what I’m eating. There are no Joe-Joe’s in Parents Need to Eat Too. When I’m on deadline and can’t quite figure out how to phrase something, those lightly sweet sandwich cookies have a magical ability to inspire. And apparently I’m on deadline, stumped, a lot.

I can’t blame this all on the siren call of Joe-Joe’s, though. There’s also ice cream. And Flourless Honey Roasted Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies. And a quick quesadilla for lunch a few times a week. If I even have lunch, that is—most days I’m so busy noshing I never get around to an actual mid-day meal. Plus, let’s not forget the whole exercise thing. If you asked me a decade ago, when I was in the gym for 90 minutes six days a week, if I’d ever lose my working-out habit, I’d have laughed. It seemed ludicrous to think I’d done all that work to lose 100 pounds, only to risk gaining it back by slacking off. Ha. I haven’t exercised regularly since 2006, the summer Harry was born. I’ve made half-hearted attempts since then, even picked up some exercise videos so I wouldn’t have to leave home. And I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve tried each one.

So. Last night I went back to Weight Watchers, again. I was a hair’s-width shy of a very ugly weight milestone, so it’s a good thing I didn’t wait another day. I’ve got 26 pounds to lose to get back to my wedding weight, which I maintained for years (before the wedding, that is) comfortably. Now I’m learning the program (again), since things have changed quite a bit since I last sat in a meeting room. And I’m writing this with stomach a-growling, paralyzed by the fear of eating a snack with too many points, thus ruining my entire day. Can you say “all-or-nothing thinking”?

Weight Watchers friends, what are your favorite zero- or one-point snacks? I know all about vegetables and fruits. I’m looking for something a little bit more exciting. This list looks promising, but it has a disturbing number of processed foods on it. I’d love to be able to lose weight without resorting to fake foods.

And as an already stretched-too-thin parent, how do you fit in exercise? That’s the part I haven’t figured out at all. To lose 100 pounds, I worked out 9 hours a week most weeks. I don’t have more than about 90 minutes to myself each week lately, and I usually spend those 90 minutes reading, just to relax a tiny bit. The thought of giving up that smidgen of me-time for exercise is, well, uninspiring.

Suggestions, please! I need help here.